Can you stand one more?

This was heard in our house this morning:

"David, do not wipe your nose on the tortilla. David. David! Take the tortilla out of your nose!"

Something else I never expected to say...

You know, David, your hamburger does not belong in my shoe.

File under: Things I Never Thought I Would Say

"Elisabeth, do not pour water on the floor and lick it up."

No, you may not have a cake sandwich.

I actually said this to my five year old tonight with a straight face and didn't laugh till afterwards. It's amazing how many absurd things pop out of your mouth when talking to the -5 set, and you would never have imagined the need to say such a thing.
Incidentally, here are some pictures of the cake sandwich dreamer herself. (Just for the grandparents!)