Facebook Funnies from 2011!

My idiot dog has been getting better, and behaving herself for the most part, but yesterday she made up for all the good behavior by snarfing down the equivalent of two entire sticks of butter that happened to be on my kitchen table.

 One of the things I say often to my poor kids: "You have to put up with my kisses. Mommy kisses never wash off, and when I'm gone, I want you to fairly covered with them for the rest of your life! So take that! And that! and that!"

Thidwick the Big-hearted Moose-if you have trouble understanding socialism, get it, you will understand. (It's a Dr. Suess book, for those who don't keep up on fine literature.)

So I started using our clothes hanger for it's original purpose. (Most exercise machines make excellent coat hangers.)

Big, fuzzy, blue bathrobe. Coffee. :)

 Another first: Yesterday I saw a woman breastfeeding a newborn on a motorcycle. (She was sitting behind her small child, who was sitting behind her husband; and yes, they were going on the road!)

Tip of the day: If you have a seven year old, and she washes the dishes, you ought to check the drinking cups before you use them. Just sayin'. :P

"MOM! (hug attack) "OH! I LIKE YOU!!!"
David's emotional response to most meals served in this house.

Well, my son dressed himself for church this morning, and when I looked at him from a distance, I thought all was well. After we got to church I noticed he had no socks, and was wearing his Lightening Macqueen jammies under his slacks and button-down shirt.

The other day we spent a little time with another missionary family. When we were done, Elisabeth said, "That was WEIRD!" When I asked her why, she said, "It's weird to talk to people I don't know in English!"
Ha-ha!

David made an announcement at dinner tonight: "I can blow FIRE out of my LELLY BUTTON! And it kiws the bad guys!
It's so nice to finally know his super power.

After a couple heavy dust storms slammed into the house last week, I decided I have to get around to Spring cleaning. I've discovered something. Pet hair is baking powder for dust!

"Are mangoes good for something?" Asked Elisabeth while industriously scrubbing her arms with the gooey mango seed.
I know I have a future scientist in the works.

Elisabethism: I'm so excited I can feel my heart beeping!

Missionary Kid Moment: "Mom, does 'hit the road, Jacks' means 'go away?' "

 Just experienced the exhilarating joy of chasing my wet, soapy dog covered in fluffy red hair all around my neighborhood, while I myself was also wet, soapy and covered in fluffy red hair. The people of Hacienda Ermita have now officially seen me at my best.

 Cute little smiling stick figures drawn with small fingers on my jewelry box. A friendly reminder that I really need to dust my bedroom.

 When teaching a class, we usually confiscate any number of contraband items that are distracting the class. Last night, it was a cucumber in the purse of one of my own daughters. What is this world coming to?

David has been followed today by full karate sound effects.

I was pushing something heavy today and Rebecca warned me to not "strangle my milk."

David: Mom, Buzz Lightyear is in my bed.
Me: You can keep him in there as long as you don't play with him...
David: But Buzz likes to play!

 Our internet access is a lot better now than when we had the other provider, but still not enough for regular phone conversations that don't sound like, " Hello? Thi....aohthagyh......ME! I'M CALLIjahgauyhfrg......What?..........WHA...." Facebook is a blessing.

 Today Ruth drew a picture of a sleepy fairy (she had butterfly wings) magically causing a cup of steaming coffee to float into her hands.

 I just confiscated Max Steele's sword. I was wondering where my pencils went.

Rebecca, holding an ice cube tray in front of the open freezer; "Hurry up and help me with this, I'm turning into an ice pickle!"

 Question of the day:
Ruth asked me, "What's a meteor? Is it like a spade-alite?"

 Every now and then it is necessary for a mother to scare the ever-living daylights out of her child. It shows love. And it's fun.

Got sunburned in clown makeup. It's an unusual look!

 Cleaning your house while your children are awake is like brushing your teeth in the middle of eating an Oreo.

 Another first! I actually consider myself lucky that yesterday was the very first time I said, "*name of child*, untie your sister this instant!"

Heard in my house today: (We are memorizing from Ephesians 6 in school) "And ye fathers, provoke not your children to math..."

Here's a great game to play with four children. I call it, "Quietmouse", and it's simply a game to see who can be the quietest the longest. The first person who talks gets nothing, the second gets one marshmallow, the third, two marshmallows, and the winner gets three. Four solid hours of silence in my house! Ha!

 I know all you mothers already know this; some of you have said it on facebook recently. BUT, if a young child comes running up and says, "Mom! smell this!"

Don't.

 Missionary Kid moment: "Mom, where am I from? Someone asked me and I don't know!"

Mother's instinct serves me well:
"If you want to help me, go wash your hands."
"I did!"
(Something moves me to suspect.) "No, I mean REALLY good."
"I did!"
"You need to wash your hands again."
"OOOOH! You mean with SOAP!"
"YES!!!!"

I asked the kids if they wanted 7-up. David took offense at the exclusion of himself and Elisabeth. "Hey! It's six-up and four-up too!"