Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Wrapping up the story

Meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays left half the campus thinking we were nutty. during the week, someone asked me every day if we hadn't broken up, because we didn't sit together in chapel, or eat lunch together. Here is some of the reasoning for Ryan's decisions to carry on this way. It was good counsel that pointed him in this direction, and I am still thankful to that godly friend of his.

1. In relationships, time together increases a couple's personal knowledge of each other. Spending much time with someone daily gives a lot of knowledge rather quickly. (At our school, that knowledge is gained through conversation, not physical contact, in case you were wondering!) Then there is a problem, because common sense will kick in and tell them that they've shared a special part of themselves with someone they do not know very well. They have not built trust, so they fear that person. Suddenly there is suspicion, which hurts the relationship early on, and many do not survive at this point. A couple that spends their waking hours together has to talk about something. Once they know what the other thinks about surface happenings and life issues, the conversation is driven to topics that are best reserved for someone you can trust and are going to marry. I've personally seen this happen over and over again. So meeting just twice a week gave us a lot to talk about, although we knew each other pretty well already.

2. Another problem with spending an inordinate amount of time with a prospective spouse early on is a Christian ought to be spending an inordinate amount of time in prayer about that spouse. While Ryan was already 100% sure about me, I needed that time. It was then that God gave me assurance that Ryan was God's calling on my life. I've told girls that if they don't carve out time to pray, not regular devotional time, but a hefty hunk of time from their day, they might marry the right person (or not!), but the relationship will not have the safety and assurance of knowing by faith. I know what it's like to have a courtship based on mutual faith, and let me tell you, there's a lot less drama, a lot more peace. As I said before, after that time in prayer, there was never a doubt.

This went on for the rest of the semester. At summer break we went our separate ways, Ryan made plans to come visit my family during towards the end of the break. Ryan was expecting to pop "the question" to my dad, and plan for an engagement maybe during the Christmas break. It didn't quite work out that way. They went out for a long powow at a restaurant. My dad and Ryan both came back from that acting mysterious and grinning fit to split their faces. The next day, Ryan went shopping by himself, and my mom told me to prepare a picnic lunch for a "special date." HM. I wonder what is going on??? He came back and went went for a drive with me to the redwood forest not far from my parent's home. We had our picnic there and he asked me to marry him. Then he told me how God had shown him that I was going to be his wife from the Bible. He also told me how the restaurant visit with my dad went.

My dad: Do you love my daughter?

Ryan: Yes.

My dad: Have you told her so?

Ryan: No, I'm waiting till I ask her to marry me.

My dad: Well you have my permission! When were you going to ask her?

Ryan: (In a little shock) Uh, whenever's a good time...

My dad: How about tomorrow?

Ryan: Yeah!

The rest, as they say, is history folks! We got married four days after graduation. We've worked together in our home church, done deputation with toddlers, and served the Lord here in Mexico. There is nothing in the world so good as serving God in the capacity He made you for! I love it!


redneck preacher said...

The wisdom at the beginning of your blog should be taught in high school. You have a good was of analyzing data.

The story at the end was fun, for me at least. Losing a daughter to some guy is a little painful so a dad might as well enjoy it as much as possible.


Leah said...

I have been blessed by your love story!!!!

Michelle said...

What an amazing story!!! Thank you for sharing it!