A young girl asked me for advice the other day. Advice about BOYS. She met a nice young fellow at camp, and he wanted to communicate with her as a boyfriend. Now, I understand the young man’s perspective more than one might think. I know him, and he’s been saved for three months of his fourteen years. He’s excited about everything that has to do with church, and he’s lost all his previous ambitions; he only wants to preach. A young lady who wants God’s will for her life is something new to him, and it is attractive. (Nothing wrong with that) He doesn’t yet understand about how to have a Christ-honoring relationship with such a person, so he is relating to her according to the rules of his old life. At this point, I assume he doesn’t know any better, especially since I sent a similar young fellow packing in my first year of college right when he wanted to “go steady” with me. It wasn’t the time for me to be thinking about marriage, and I didn’t need any distractions with my first year of college. When God put me back together with that guy after we had both matured a bit, we knew it was His work! For more on this story, go here, here, here, and here!
I told the young lady these things, and also this: You are in a very important time of your life, and it is a time to guard your heart! These years, if you are submitted to God’s Holy Spirit, He is preparing you for His will. He’s building something precious in your life, making something beautiful. Your relationship with Him is being established, and you don’t need distractions. These years don’t come back when they are gone; don’t lose what God is doing in your life!
This is for the young ladies that read my blog. Those of you that I know personally, I want you to know I pray for you by name often! I know that God has a plan for you, that it is the best plan for you, and there is something in your life right now that can destroy you. I don’t know what it is, but our enemy always puts up something that we have to make a choice about. Am I going to trust God, or worry about my family? Am I going to make room for Him in my life, or am I going to seek my own interests, and let Him have my leftovers? Am I going to pour out my hurts to Him and leave them there, or am I going to get bitter and angry? One of these things that can turn us off the path God has laid for our feet is wrong thinking about romance, boys, marriage, and the future.
You see we ladies are full of dreams! Exciting dreams, dreams that make our heart go pitter-patter-pumpernickle! There is a powerful ton of emotion built up behind those dreams, and the hope that those dreams might be realized in this amazing person is enough to sometimes shut down our ability to reason. If you have seen the movie Bambie, think “twitterpated”. And I know whereof I speak. I have talked to a lot of twitterpated young ladies. You are a smart person, but emotion can turn the heads of the brainiest among us. For this reason I offer you my advice. (Yes, unasked for by you, but I love you all to bits, so you have to put up with it!)
• Keep your relationships Christ honoring.
• Make good friends, and keep your closest friendships at a spiritual level. (I'm talking about all your friends, not just guys, but especially guys!) Be aware that extra time with someone builds intimacy. If you run out of things to talk about, you will be tempted to start bringing up more personal things. Not a good idea! Certainly not a good reason to speak of personal things with someone.
• Always keep Christ first, and if any friendship is pushing away your thoughts of Him, step away from that friendship! Believe me, I speak from experience, Mr. Right, at Time Right will not push away Christ! I am so glad I told my “Mr. Right” to “just be friends” when I did! God's time was perfect. If he’s got a spiritual bone in his body, he will understand and appreciate what you are saying; if he doesn’t understand, you really don’t want to tie your heart up with him!
• Also, if God has placed authority in your life, honor it! Honor your parents, and don’t hide anything from them. Respect your pastor and consider his advice carefully.
• Find spiritual older woman who can hold you accountable, and pick their minds! Don’t worry about bugging them, they will love it. Just don’t say you are following my advice to find someone “older”, or you will get me into trouble!
Most importantly, keep your dreams and desires subjected to God’s will. Seek His face, and determine in your heart to never deny the Holy Spirit. You can’t afford at this point in your life to let something come in and mess up the amazing things He’s preparing you for!